11/12/2004

Remembering the Act of Voting With Fondness:
When the Rude Pundit asked readers to send in their voting stories last week, the idea was that it was going to be a kind of celebration, not a wake. But, still, dozens of you sent stories, and as the mainstream and alternative media attempts to endlessly slap down any stories of vote fraud, here's a few of the ones that were sent in. Some will give you the warm fuzzy melancholy of lost hope; others will just make you smirk in recognition. Either way, it's a fantasy post here, about how we went to the polls, from sea to shining sea, and tried to change the world and failed:

From Lisa: "I live in Northern VA and was at the polling place at 5:55am and already about 100 people were in line before me. It took just about 35 minutes for the whole routine and it went very well and orderly. (Yes, we had the newfangled touch machines and old,very old, oh so old ladies too). The idiots behind me, while thankfully NOT advocating for Chimpy, were discussing the electoral vote pro and con at 6am. Way too early for me. I love my early am peace and quiet. I walked about a mile home and was very optimistic about the turnout.

"By the way, I hung a DEFEND AMERICA: DEFEAT BUSH sign on the outside of my cube Friday and someone stole it. I hung another saying that their actions did not speak well of either them or their candidate."

From Aaron in Ann Arbor: "As I got in line, a guy came up and asked me how long I thought the wait was going to be. I said, 'Well, four years so far.' There was laughter, but the guy just took off; I hope he was a Republican."

From Jinny in Atlanta: "This morning the line was wrapped around the church at 7:00am, I was in and out in just under an hour. The poll workers were on top of things and kept people moving and orderly. About half the poll workers were in festive African garb and treated us like unruly children at a birthday party. It was organized chaos. Coming out after voting a woman was sitting on top of her car playing the guitar and singing the Indigo Girls song 'Go,' changing 'go' to 'vote.' All in all a pretty cool experience."

From Adam in San Diego: "I voted in San Diego, CA this morning. For our wonderfully fun recall election earlier this year we used the miracle machines, which had innumerable problems. This year, they were ruled out and we're using pen and paper, and I couldn't be happier about it. Fill in the circle. Brilliance.

"No problems at all at my polling place with the new old technology. People in line commnued happily and exerted our mastery over paper and pen. Even the old, old, so horribly old poll workers from the previous elections had been replaced (including by one young, young, so beautifully young lady)."

From Melissa in Missouri: "I live in a small college town in Missouri. My polling place is located in a tiny annexed building next to the Methodist church. The poll worker greeted me by name (small town, remember?), went through the formality of checking my ID, and then I was handed my ballot. I walked into my polling place at 11:55 and was finished voting by noon. There were 4 booths available, and all were in use the whole time I was there. When my husband went to vote this morning, he said the line was out the door, so he went by the college to cancel his morning office hours and went back. The line had cleared by the time he got back, but he said there was a steady stream the whole time he was there too. For the first time ever, the college here has a polling place on campus for the students.

"We use paper ballots and big, black pencils to fill in ovals next to the candidate's names, and then we slide our ballots into a slot on a locked metal box. It doesn't get any better than that."

Here's Bozo from, well, Canada: "We recently underwent a federal election, an oh what a woeful tale. Upon arriving at my local polling station, I was promptly given my ballot, a pencil and directed to a large row of tables with cardboard dividers keeping out prying eyes. I marked my 'choice' (or non-choice as the case may be) with an X, folded the ballot as directed, and placed it in a large locked metal box. 2 hours after the polls closed, our federal government had been determined with nary a lawsuit or hanging chad to be seen."

For the record, the Rude Pundit doesn't think there's any evidence of a coordinated effort to steal the election. But, you know, would it fuckin' hurt anyone to do some recounts? In other words, other than costs (which would no doubt be picked up by donors), is there a reason not to recount? It's like if you tell your new lover you want him to get an HIV test before you'll let him fuck you anally. The only reason not to get tested is because he knows he's diseased and he doesn't want anyone to find out.