6/17/2009

Why Doesn't Jesus Want Us to Have a Health Care Plan?:
The Rude Pundit continues to be a member of the Super-Duper Prayer Team of the Family Research Council (motto: "The voices in our heads tell us that queers are icky") under a nom de rude. Every week, he receives orders on what he should spread his prayer seed on, and this week is especially meaty. Amidst all the prayers about us needing to afear the gays and their unholy desire to get married just like real people, there's this: "Last week, Senate Democrats began circulating the first draft of Sen. Kennedy's proposal for a sweeping government health care system. The Health, Education, Labor and Pensions committee is scheduled to hold public 'markup' sessions to finalize details on the bill in mid June. Of particular concern are the provisions for 'reproductive health services,' which is code language for federally funded abortion. The Senate Finance Committee will have its say, then the full Senate."

This is followed by how we need to pray: "May those who pray mount a prevailing effort to prevent this socialistic plan to take permanent control of over 17% of the American economy. May the American people and their representatives wield their power to reject this effort, as they did in 1993-94." Now that's a goddamned precise prayer. It makes a soul wonder what percentage of the American economy is the upper limit for we prayer warriors. And watch for abortion payments to become the screeching right's last stand on health care until they demand that all fertile women must carry frozen embryos before Orrin Hatch agrees to let the government pay for a few people's antibiotics.

This is followed by a list of bible verses that give us guidance on our prayers, a way to put more sticky notes in our home gospels. Like, on stopping health care reform, we should read Hosea 6:1-3, which says, "Come, and let us return unto the Lord: for he hath torn, and he will heal us; he hath smitten, and he will bind us up/ After two days will he revive us: in the third day he will raise us up, and we shall live in his sight/ Then shall we know, if we follow on to know the Lord: his going forth is prepared as the morning; and he shall come unto us as the rain, as the latter and former rain unto the earth." Or, in other words, the FRC seems to be saying that we shouldn't give a shit about doctors because an invisible sky wizard will heal us if we're willing to let his voice be in our heads. Why is it always three days with this bastard?

One might think that Jesus would want doctors for the poor because he's only one dude with the superpower of healing. And that shit's gotta wear a guy out.