7/30/2009

Destroying Obama as Quickly as Possible, Part 2a: Sympathy for the Republican:
Sweet Jesus, dear Republicans, it must suck to be you. You came out of the 2008 elections having lost any semblance of power. And it only took two years from being the kings and queens of the Hill, contemplating what you were going to do with the coming decades of your reign, and then it all just fucking fell apart. And now you're not just in a minority, in theory you're about as powerless as the Green Party, the Libertarian Party, and the Space Lizard Party. "In theory" because you still have catastrophe, or the hope of it. Yes, catastrophe is your currency, wilderness-wandering Republicans; it is your food, your air. It's all you have left, and you are going to flog catastrophe like a desperate, fix-deprived junkie trying to sell his shoes on the sidewalk.

This ain't about the conservative radio and TV hogfuckers who have Father Coughlin'd their way into our consciousness. Frankly, they have become re-empowered by the Democratic victories of 2008. It's easier to whip people into an incoherent frenzy in opposition than in support. Or, to put it simply, Barack Obama is the best thing that could have happened to Rush Limbaugh. He just sounded like the sad and lost fat man he is throughout the Bush years. 2008 just finally gave a new yin to his lonely yang.

No, this is about actual Republican lawmakers. What we're seeing in the savage attacks on the President and the Democratic congress by Republicans is the projection of eight years of being the beaten curs for all things Bush/Cheney/Rove/Rumsfeld. You know how it is with a dog whose owner beats him to teach him how to behave. At some point, that fuckin' dog is gonna snap and rip the shit out of someone. You think it's gonna be the owner, who still, despite all the whippings and kickings, feeds the dog? Fuck, no. It's gonna be whatever else is around to be chewed.

Imagine you're that Republican in the House who, for eight long goddamn years, lapped up every bowl of vomit that the Bush administration placed in front of you. Imagine getting a phone call from Karl Rove if there was even a hint you were gonna go rogue and vote against, say, expanded surveillance. Imagine the threats to your career. Let's even, for the sake of argument, say, and why not, that you're an honorable Republican, trying to get some of that federal largesse for your district, steer a few jobs to the constituents, get some shit built. And you're listening to Rove threaten to cut off the campaign funding pump if you don't vote his way. So you do it. You suck it up and ask for more because you're convinced that, in the end, the overall goal of the Republican majority and cohesion of the party is better for the country.

And then all those promises that you were made, about hanging in there with Bush until the bitter end, it all just came apart, leaving you to face a future where not only is your party falling apart, but you've got a voting record that says you were Dick Cheney's convenient tool. Hell, let's just toss in there, for shits and giggles, that your district is becoming more Hispanic. What are you gonna do?

Why, you're gonna take it out on Obama. You're gonna join the effort to crush this presidency, no matter how fucking insane. And, fuck, add into the mix the fear of your white constituents (and maybe you) that a black man is the commander-in-chief? Motherfucker, the world's upside-down. Catastrophe is imminent. The end is nigh, man, it's nigh.

But here's the deal: of course Republicans were gonna do this. It's what they do. It's actually acting like an opposition party (if a bit drama queen-ish). If the leadership can outright lie about issues, well, then at least we know the rules of the game.

The reason, though, to bring all this up is not to chide Republicans for trying to bring down Obama. That's to be expected. No, the Rude Pundit's got two purposes: to understand why things seem just a bit more intense than usual. And to set up tomorrow's discussion: that perhaps we shouldn't have expected Democrats to be aiding Republicans.