2/26/2015

Texas Conservatives Celebrate Hating Gays in an Incredibly Gay Way


That pink-decorated cake being sliced by men holding hands is not for the joyous occasion of two of those fellows getting married. Oh, no. That was an event to mark the 10th anniversary of the amendment to the Texas constitution that declared "Marriage in this state shall consist only of the union of one man and one woman." It also added, dickishly, "This state or a political subdivision of this state may not create or recognize any legal status identical or similar to marriage."

You might say, "Oh, sweet Rude Pundit, why would you think this looks like a pair of gay men cutting cake after taking their vows?" And the Rude Pundit would show you this:


These pictures couldn't be queerer if under the table was another dude blowing the big guy with the cake knife. (And, for the record, it totally looks like that big guy is being blown by a dude under the table while his new husband looks on approvingly.)

It was actually part of "Faith and Family Day," obviously the one day a year that Texans can express how much they love their god and how much they care about their families. The other 364? Fuck 'em raw.

Faith and Family Day involves a murder of nutter right-wing groups coming together to tell you how much they hate, hate, hate shit while telling you how much you need to love, love, love their GodJeebus. If you went, you got to hear Lt. Gov. Dan Patrick tell the gathered families, "We can be the leader in education, we can be the leader in creating jobs, we can be the leader in all that stuff, but we really need to be the leader for Christ. That’s the answer, that’s the hope that this state and country must look to...I don’t know if the end days are today, or a thousand years from now. That’s why we have to stand for Christ in all that we do." Obviously, inclusiveness was the message he wanted to impart: we'll include anyone who sniffs Christ's filthy feet. Muslims, Jews, atheists, and assorted heathens need not apply.

By the way, this speech followed Rep. Jeff Leach imploring everyone not to allow Sharia law to take over. That sound you hear is Jesus slapping his forehead as he thinks, "Irony just got crucified in the Lone Star State."